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Dumping My Emotional Baggage On The Runway: An Airport Rant

Travel is a special thing always close to my heart, but sometimes you’ll have a bad travel experience which can leave a sour taste in the mouth. This is a little rant I wrote when I was experiencing a bundle of travel-related chaos so while I whittled away the time by being a bit harsh on airports.

Airports should be wonderful, magical places where plucky young travellers embark on amazing skybound adventures. However, this is often very very far (we’re talking the distance to your Ryanair gate) from the truth…

Most of the time they’re soullessly modern, filled to the brim with grey pillars, shiny white panels and lots of glass showing you either – the grim place you’re departing from – or the wonderful sunshine you’re having to leave. And so what if they have a world-class architect-designed glass ceiling, well – you won’t get to marvel at this one, as it often looks better from the outside in an exterior (legal) drone shot, or if it does look alright inside, you won’t be seeing it as you’re forced to stare into a branded shop if you’re lucky enough to have grabbed that last seat in the waiting area.

And what’s with the all the shops? With the lack of carry-on space and ever-increasing charges for baggage, how can you fit any purchases into your bags and suitcases? Does anyone really want to hit up jewellery shops, unless you’re buying a ‘I cheated on you while on my business trip’ necklace or watch? And don’t get me started the hazardous toxins (nope we’re not talking toilets) you’re often forced to traverse in the form of perfume shops which are on the way to gates and departures.

When you finally reach your gate, you may think you’ve got a brief respite from the chaos. But of course, this is never the case. Lack of seats aside, the battle to find and keep a charger is an ever-pressing matter, I’ve seen full-blown arguments break out over those little device energy portals – and I don’t blame them, just being in an airport seems to drain the life of everything, electronic devices included. Way before any flights are called, there’ll immediately be a super-eagy mess of random queues forming to the various possible desk spots, putting everyone on edge, while you’re just trying to stare into the electronic oblivion of your soon-to-be-dying phone.

If the expensive, crowded and often-delayed bus or train to the airport didn’t test your patience, well wait for the little shuttle buses between the terminal and your plane for when your route isn’t important enough for a jet-bridge/walk-way contraption. They may or may not turn up, and when they do, you’ll feel the urge to buy your fellow passengers breakfast for how up close and intimate you’ve been with them. But the light at the end of the tunnel nears close, as you finally board the magnificent mechanical bird to soar you to your wildest dreams. I’ll leave any plane-based criticisms for another post

Of course, we shouldn’t complain, it’s not like air travel is particularly ethical in the first place, so maybe airport crappiness is some sort of karmic penance that we must all suffer for our continued air miles and destruction of the planet. Otherwise, I guess there’s always the exclusive executive lounges…

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