What should you NOT do when you go to England?

2nd May 2015

ASOAR = As Seen On AskReddit

#1. Let people off the train before you get on it. This is a must. – ASOAR

#2. Recognise that not all of Britain is “England”. Call a Scotsman English and you can expect a punch. – ASOAR

#3. We really don’t care if you think you are 1/23rdth Irish and 3/19ths Scottish and have an English auntie. Absolutely no-one else is obsessed like this. – ASOAR 

#4. Tell someone you like their “pants”. Pants = underwear. – ASOAR

#5. Talk with a fake English accent and say “pip pip!” and “cheerio!” a lot. – ASOAR

#6. Call people “guvna” – ASOAR


#8. Don’t go to the M&M store in Leicester Square. No Brits understand why it exists. Only gormless unimaginative   tourists go there for reasons which escape me. – ASOAR

#9. Don’t mix up the Tower Bridge with the London Bridge. Why does everyone seem to do that?! – ASOAR

#10. Don’t forget to mind the gap – ASOAR.

#11. Do not call people waiting for the bus “bus wankers” – ASOAR

#12. Touch the guards. You can mess around in front of them and they’ll ignore you, but touch them and prepare for a world of hurt. – ASOAR

#13. Try on your “British accent”. Lived in Britain all my life, and there is NO SUCH THING as a British accent,          though Americans seem obsessed with the idea. The accents in England, Scotland, Wales and Ireland can                 change drastically 20 miles down the road. – ASOAR

7 thoughts on “What should you NOT do when you go to England?

  1. Eleftheria

    #9 the first time I went to London, I -as many others- visited London bridge,expecting to see Tower bridge!!

    #8 I love M&M’s, so I love M&M store!!!

    Great post!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Thanks 🙂

  2. pragati

    Fantastic list..but what about the ones starting with ‘Don’t”…are they ‘do’ since they are double negatives? Er…confused! 🙂

  3. Laura

    I disagree with number 7. Take the tea bag out first, and you end up with scummy tea. I’ve had 31 years practice of this and for this reason never let my mum make me a cup of tea with teabags and not loose tea. Maybe it’s because I’m half Irish (ahem no 3).

    Also, I know people who live in London and get number 9 muddled sometimes. We know the difference, but sometimes we forget the words.

    I’d like to add one – don’t take a train during rush hour if you’re not prepared to rush along the platform and generally keep out of everyones (my) way.

  4. Julia

    Hahaha brilliant list, although I have seen many British people do #7. To my personal list I would probably add: Do not speak to the bus driver! Just to warn tourists as this was a big shock to me when I came to the country and never got why they wouldn’t answer my questions (note: the bus was at the stop, not driving) until someone pointed to one of those signs found on loads of buses here in London: “do not speak to the bus driver” I mean – That is weird, right?


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